White House Assigns Octagon Protocol After UFC Event Fails Civics Check

The Senate requested a bell, three flags, and a committee room that can be hosed down between votes.

The White House, facing criticism that a proposed UFC spectacle looked less presidential than a timeshare seminar with elbow strikes, issued a 12-page “Octagon Decorum Guidance” memo for any combat-adjacent photo op involving Trump.

The Senate Rules Committee was asked to determine whether a tapout counts as unanimous consent, while protocol staff labeled china cabinets “noncombatants” and moved the Resolute Desk to a neutral corner.

“This is why courts have bailiffs and not ring girls,” said one governance expert, staring at a seating chart marked New York, Iran, and Lightweight Contenders.

By Friday, the event had been reassigned to a subcommittee hearing room, where all entrances require wristbands, waivers, and a commemorative gavel.

Context

MMA Mania reported that a former UFC champion criticized Dana White’s UFC White House plans as a “clown show” and a disservice to MMA.

Photo: Bruno Bueno