Senate Gives Immigration Agencies $70 Billion And A Money Border
The House is expected to ask whether the cash can be deported before the court asks for a form.
Senate GOP Considers Childproof Cap for $1.8 Billion Trump Settlement
The proposed limit would let the money leave court only after completing three forms, two tariff hearings, and a supervised walk past the Supreme Court gift shop.
White House Offers WNBA Jersey Patch Small Enough for Denial
League lawyers reportedly asked whether wearing “USA” counts as patriotism, sponsorship, or a congressional exhibit.
White House Sanctions Cuban President’s Family Group Chat
Treasury clarified that aunt emojis remain legal if filed as humanitarian stationery.
White House Measures GOP Loyalty With New Congressional Grip Test
Lawmakers who fail must squeeze a rubber eagle while approving the Iran line item.
Senate Opens Filibuster Flip-Flop Window After Fetterman Reversal
The chamber will now process all deeply held principles between 10 a.m. and lunch.
House Votes To End Iran War, White House Requests Receipt
The resolution was escorted to a quiet drawer reserved for subpoenas, budgets, and other congressional wishes.
House Requires Presidents To Get Iran War Hall Pass First
The new form reportedly includes a checkbox for “not just mad about tariffs.”
Trump Lowers Tariffs After Tractors Complete White House Loyalty Forms
The Senate reportedly asked whether a combine harvester can be subpoenaed if it refuses to thank the president.
White House Builds Tariff Menu With Sixty Countries And One Laminator
Aides said the U.K. requested a side of clarity and received a customs invoice instead.