The form requires two signatures, one court citation, and a small box labeled “probably China.”
After former White House lawyers warned about runaway executive power, aides unveiled Form EP-1, a carbon-copy permission slip for any presidential action involving courts, tariffs, or yelling at The New York Times.
The form routes through Counsel, Scheduling, and a windowless basement desk labeled “Supreme-ish,” where clerks stamp requests as lawful, theatrical, or “ask China first.”
“We believe this restores guardrails, or at least gives them a badge lanyard,” said one constitutional process consultant.
Campaign staff praised the system after discovering Section 4 lets Trump pre-check “national destiny” and skip directly to cable graphics.
Context
Dartmouth reported that former White House lawyers publicly warned about the risk of executive abuses.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Dartmouth
Photo: RDNE Stock project

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