Treasury Prints Menu After U.S. Adds Tariffs To 60 Economies
The Senate requested a clearer list, preferably one that did not require a folding chair and a cartographer.
Trump Endorsement Forces Iowa GOP To Install Governor-Sized Loyalty Stamp
The White House reportedly labeled the endorsement “agricultural infrastructure” after the Senate office laminator jammed.
Trump Aides Install Diplomatic Turn Signal For China-Taiwan Tightrope
The Senate requested blinkers too, after mistaking cross-strait stability for a parking rule.
White House Issues Cage-Side Seating Chart For Birthday Governance
The protocol office reportedly classified the octagon as a temporary briefing room with more defensible corners.
Senate Prepares Paxton Welcome Packet Printed Entirely On Trump Letterhead
The orientation binder reportedly contains a committee map, three loyalty tabs, and a tiny court clerk bell.
Senate Opens MAGA Probate Court For Vance-Rubio Inheritance Fight
Clerks reportedly labeled the movement “flammable estate property” and refused to notarize the hats.
White House Deems Trump’s Skipped Don Jr. Wedding Essential Infrastructure
Aides reportedly filed the RSVP under “constitutional bride-side incapacity” and moved the boutonniere to pending legislation.
NATO Ministers To Receive Trump Disappointment In Laminated Alliance Folders
Rubio will reportedly deliver the message using the ceremonial binder reserved for budget threats and awkward lunch seating.
Ex-White House Lawyers Prompt New Oval Office Abuse Sign-Out Sheet
The form requires two signatures, one court citation, and a small box labeled “probably China.”
NATO Issues Trump Reliability Index Ahead of Rubio Anxiety Tour
European diplomats will now be briefed using a color-coded chart ranging from “Article 5” to “please check Truth Social.”