U.S. Demands Self-Driving Cars Stop Letting China Merge
A new interagency memo classifies hesitation at four-way stops as a foreign policy vulnerability.
Senate Issues Talking Permit After Iran Threatens To Stop Talking
The new form must be stamped before any nation may pause diplomacy, resume diplomacy, or glare near diplomacy.
Trump Aides Install Diplomatic Turn Signal For China-Taiwan Tightrope
The Senate requested blinkers too, after mistaking cross-strait stability for a parking rule.
Iran Offers China Uranium Storage While Washington Updates Its Hold Music
Negotiators reportedly requested a chain-of-custody form, a forklift, and one senator willing to read the annex.
China Downgrades American Power to Laminated Conference Room Concept
Beijing’s new policy requires U.S. threats to arrive with a binder clip, three stamps, and a deal memo nobody reads.
Iran Asks China To Cosign America’s Nuclear Deal Like Nervous Landlord
Washington reportedly offered a handshake, a binder, and whatever Trump last initialed in Sharpie.
White House Adds China Chair to Trump’s Iran-Pakistan Table
Negotiators reportedly labeled it “Beijing Seat, Do Not Move,” which is also the current foreign policy.
Senate Opens MAGA Probate Court For Vance-Rubio Inheritance Fight
Clerks reportedly labeled the movement “flammable estate property” and refused to notarize the hats.
NATO Issues Erasable Maps After Trump Reverses Europe Troop Plan
Alliance clerks now classify U.S. deployments as weather, rumors, or Tuesday.
NATO Ministers To Receive Trump Disappointment In Laminated Alliance Folders
Rubio will reportedly deliver the message using the ceremonial binder reserved for budget threats and awkward lunch seating.