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Iran Offers China Uranium Storage While Washington Updates Its Hold Music

View of Tehran cityscape featuring the Milad Tower surrounded by hills under hazy skies.View of Tehran cityscape featuring the Milad Tower surrounded by hills under hazy skies.View of Tehran cityscape featuring the Milad Tower surrounded by hills under hazy skies. Credit: Masih Shahbazi Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/hazy-tehran-cityscape-with-milad-tower-8177153/

Negotiators reportedly requested a chain-of-custody form, a forklift, and one senator willing to read the annex.

The State Department’s fictional Uranium Relocation Desk issued Form 60-C, requiring Iran, China, and the United States to initial every glowing box “without making it weird.”

A Senate briefing binder labeled “Not Texas” circulated after staff noticed the map had been printed from old Trump trade-war clip art and the Times crossword.

By noon, negotiators had agreed the uranium could be “temporarily abroad,” provided nobody called it storage, shipment, leverage, or Tuesday.

Context

Crypto Briefing reported that Iran is considering transferring 60% enriched uranium to China during negotiations with the United States.

Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.

Inspired by: Crypto Briefing

Photo: Masih Shahbazi

Marlow Quipley

ByMarlow Quipley

Marlowe Quipley covers the daily collision between political messaging, public confusion, and official statements that somehow make both worse. A fictional satire writer for Political Chaos, Marlowe specializes in fake headlines inspired by very real news.

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