China Offers Tariff Relief in the Form of a Blank Clipboard

Agriculture officials were told soybeans may celebrate once Beijing releases the celebratory paperwork template.

The Agriculture Department entered China’s renewed promise of tariff cuts into the Federal Register as a “policy-shaped object,” pending receipt of numbers, dates, commodities, or a noun.

A briefing slide labeled SOYBEAN HOPE was circulated to trade staff, with seventeen footnotes explaining that hope is not currently an import category. “We have achieved measurable ambiguity,” one deputy assistant undersecretary noted.

To preserve momentum, officials issued provisional celebration permits to corn, wheat, and pork producers, valid only in rooms where no one asks what the tariff rate is.

Context

China again signaled possible tariff cuts for U.S. agricultural trade after a Trump-Xi meeting, but provided no details.

Photo: cake cat