Supreme Court Declines Georgia PSC Case, State Prints Official Shrug Forms
Commission staff described the decision as a green light, then spent three hours locating the green light's rate schedule.
Skill Games Ask Supreme Court Whether Losing Primary Was Playable
Judges are expected to decide whether a losing campaign counts as a malfunction, a feature, or a lobbyist refund.
Alabama Asks Justices To Approve Map With Built-In GOP Lane
State lawyers reportedly labeled the disputed district lines “heritage squiggles” and placed them in a velvet binder.
Treasury Sends Tariff Refunds With Instructions For Returning Outrage
A draft memo warns checks may arrive before the talking points needed to be angry about them.
Supreme Court Declines Virginia Appeal, Democrats Discover Emergency Campaign Exits
Operatives described the ruling as a court calendar event that somehow became a group unsubscribe button.
Supreme Court Weighs Cisco Case, Accidentally Invents Customer Service Sovereignty
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Supreme Court Reclassifies Voting Rights Act As Optional Housekeeping Binder
The ruling reportedly allows Congress to continue functioning as a representative democracy-themed escape room.
Louisiana’s Congressional Map Struck Down After Court Notices It’s Just A Crayon Drawing Of King Charles
In a landmark ruling, justices confirmed that “at least one district should contain voters who are not a fleur-de-lis.”
Supreme Court Tosses Louisiana Map, Demands Districts That Exist in Euclidean Space
In a 6–3 ruling, justices bravely confirm that “crayon tornado” is not a legal standard for representative democracy.
China Politely Asks U.S. To Stop Punching Itself In The Tariffs
Diplomats urge Washington to “put down the economic rake” after Supreme Court bonks Trump-era trade war on the nose.