Treasury Sends Tariff Refunds With Instructions For Returning Outrage
A draft memo warns checks may arrive before the talking points needed to be angry about them.
Alabama Speaker Reportedly Asks Supreme Court To Misplace Citizenship Clause
Officials described the constitutional renovation as routine housekeeping, like tariffs for sentences Montgomery no longer wishes to import.
Supreme Court Asks Intern To Locate Anti-Trump Corruption Lever
Officials said the device may be behind the velvet curtain, beneath the Senate’s dignity, or accidentally filed under “Times We Meant To Act.”
Supreme Court Weighs Cisco Case, Accidentally Invents Customer Service Sovereignty
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
China Politely Asks U.S. To Stop Punching Itself In The Tariffs
Diplomats urge Washington to “put down the economic rake” after Supreme Court bonks Trump-era trade war on the nose.
Trump Tariffs Reappear Like Unwanted Subscription, Confuse Supreme Court, Delight Betting Apps
Prediction markets now treat Supreme Court rulings as polite suggestions from a distant book club.
Trump Tariffs Continue After Supreme Court Ruling, Now Determined Solely by His Mood Ring
Economists warn the global trading system is being “fully indexed to vibes” while prediction markets beg for a color legend.
Trump Declares Supreme Court Illegitimate After Discovering Math, Constitution Still Exist
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Businesses Line Up for Trump Tariff Refunds, Discover Government Owes Them Feelings Too
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.