Trump And Xi Agree Hormuz Strait May Remain Unblocked, For Now
The White House celebrated the rare diplomatic breakthrough by reminding Congress that waterways are not currently subject to Senate holds.
Congress Discovers Ukraine Vote Button Hidden Under Stack Of Caution Memos
A procedural memo warned that continued action could normalize the dangerous precedent of Congress conducting business.
White House Prepares Trump-Xi Meeting With Emergency Compliment Inventory
The Senate was placed on standby to translate any phrase containing “very strong” into policy.
Senate Approves Trump’s Iran Deadline After Deadline Files For Extension
Lawmakers described the lapse as a scheduling detail, then asked the Supreme Court if time still counts during recess.
White House Packs Emotional Support Senate For Trump’s China Trip
Aides hope congressional dysfunction will make Beijing’s negotiating table feel more familiar.
White House Says Iran’s Missiles Are ‘Mostly Theoretical’ Unless Televised
Aides introduced a new threat scale ranging from “fake news” to “please ask the Senate later.”
Alabama Schedules Special Election Before Congressional Map Learns Its Districts
Campaigns are preparing yard signs with dotted lines, just in case the court asks for edits.
White House Packs China Trip Binder With Iran War Tab Enlarged
The delegation reportedly added a “Please Discuss Carefully” sticker after staff determined “world war escalation” was too long for the label maker.
White House Drafts Emergency Order Asking Cattle To Show Patriotism
The plan treats hamburger supply as a constitutional question, with brisket now awaiting possible Supreme Court review.
Trump Nominates Mastriano To Slovakia, Senate Orders Emergency Atlas
The White House called it a foreign-policy move, while half of Washington began quietly checking whether Slovakia has primaries.