US Navy Seizes Mysterious ‘Gift From China’ After Trump Plays Global Santa Tracker
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
China Denies Any Link to Mysterious Iranian Ship, Citing Long-Standing Policy of Not Knowing Anything About Anything
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Trump’s China Strategy Now Just Vibes, Tariffs, and Hoping Xi Ghosts First
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Senate Panel Concludes Nuclear Apocalypse Imminent, Requests Longer Recess
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Businesses Line Up for Trump Tariff Refunds, Discover Government Owes Them Feelings Too
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Trump Announces Revolutionary Mental Health Plan: “Have You Tried Not Thinking?”
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Senate Republicans Pin Hopes on Surprise Supreme Court Plot Twist, Cancel Remaining Campaign Ideas
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Appeals Court Clears Way for $400 Million White House Ballroom, Citing “Urgent National Need for Bigger Chandeliers”
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Trump Heroically Discovers Idaho Exists Long Enough To Approve Disaster
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Trump Threatens to ‘Close’ Strait of Hormuz, Advisors Gently Note It’s Not a Casino Door
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.