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Ex-White House Lawyers Prompt New Oval Office Abuse Sign-Out Sheet

Close-up of a businesswoman organizing files in a black box in an office setting.Close-up of a businesswoman organizing files in a black box in an office setting.Close-up of a businesswoman organizing files in a black box in an office setting. Credit: RDNE Stock project Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-person-putting-document-in-the-bag-7841437/

The form requires two signatures, one court citation, and a small box labeled “probably China.”

After former White House lawyers warned about runaway executive power, aides unveiled Form EP-1, a carbon-copy permission slip for any presidential action involving courts, tariffs, or yelling at The New York Times.

The form routes through Counsel, Scheduling, and a windowless basement desk labeled “Supreme-ish,” where clerks stamp requests as lawful, theatrical, or “ask China first.”

“We believe this restores guardrails, or at least gives them a badge lanyard,” said one constitutional process consultant.

Campaign staff praised the system after discovering Section 4 lets Trump pre-check “national destiny” and skip directly to cable graphics.

Context

Dartmouth reported that former White House lawyers publicly warned about the risk of executive abuses.

Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.

Inspired by: Dartmouth

Photo: RDNE Stock project

June Wexler

ByJune Wexler

June Wexler writes satirical dispatches from the imaginary nerve center of American political disorder. A fictional contributor to Political Chaos, June focuses on campaigns, Congress, and the bureaucratic art of making simple problems historic.

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