Cabinet secretaries were reportedly issued fresh lanyards after the Situation Room rejected their pine-scented briefing folders.
A White House facilities memo designated Camp David “insufficiently rectangular” for cabinet-level Iran discussions, citing trees, squirrels, and the unacceptable possibility of policy occurring near a canoe rack.
The Cabinet Affairs Office ordered all binders transported back to Washington in climate-controlled SUVs, with tabs for “Iran,” “Lunch,” and “Why Was This Ever in Maryland.”
“The room now has walls on all sides,” a senior scheduling functionary noted.
Staff also replaced the Camp David welcome sign with a laminated arrow reading “Cabinet Meeting Relocated Due To Diplomacy,” now stored beside the Supreme Court folding chairs and one Senate-proof coffee urn.
Context
The Guardian reported that Trump moved a planned Camp David cabinet meeting to the White House while Iran talks continue.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: The Guardian
Photo: Curtis Adams
[…] White House Reclassifies Camp David as Too Outdoorsy for Iran Talks […]