Candidates were advised that ticket numbers do not guarantee condiments, cabinet posts, or eye contact.
The White House processed President Trump’s Kansas governor endorsement through the Primary Queue Stabilization Desk, a folding table beside the portrait of Andrew Jackson and a printer labeled “deal.”
Remaining Republican candidates received Form DJT-KS-14, requiring two signatures, one stapled applause sample, and a sworn statement that their yard signs can withstand presidential weather.
The House messaging office then updated its official chart: “Endorsed,” “Maybe Later,” and “Please Stand Behind The Rope Until The Golf Cart Stops.”
Context
President Trump endorsed Kansas Senate President Ty Masterson in a crowded Republican primary for Kansas governor, KMBC reported.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: KMBC
Photo: cottonbro studio
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