Supreme Court Reclassifies Voting Rights Act As Optional Housekeeping Binder
The ruling reportedly allows Congress to continue functioning as a representative democracy-themed escape room.
Louisiana’s Congressional Map Struck Down After Court Notices It’s Just A Crayon Drawing Of King Charles
In a landmark ruling, justices confirmed that “at least one district should contain voters who are not a fleur-de-lis.”
Supreme Court Tosses Louisiana Map, Demands Districts That Exist in Euclidean Space
In a 6–3 ruling, justices bravely confirm that “crayon tornado” is not a legal standard for representative democracy.
Congress Quietly Launches “Scandal Off‑Ramp” Pilot Program, Traffic Backed Up to K Street
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Florida Lawmaker Resigns Seconds Before Ethics Hearing, Cites Sudden Need To Be Anywhere Else
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Senate GOP Unveils Budget to Fully Fund Trump, Partially Fund Reality
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Senate Panel Concludes Nuclear Apocalypse Imminent, Requests Longer Recess
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Senate Republicans Pin Hopes on Surprise Supreme Court Plot Twist, Cancel Remaining Campaign Ideas
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
House Accidentally Passes Bill Declaring Haitians “Official Backup Americans” After Misreading Acronym
Lawmakers shocked to learn BUSA Act does not, in fact, fund a space laser.