Senate Advances Form Requiring Trump To Requisition Iran Hostilities
The chamber’s new policy would classify unauthorized escalation as a paperwork spill requiring immediate committee towels.
Cohen Exit Triggers Emergency Storage Plan for Unused Campaign Buttons
A preliminary memo recommends preserving the signs in case Congress later needs evidence that campaigning once occurred voluntarily.
Senate Asked To Stop Glowering At China During Trump-Xi Meeting
A new peace memo warns that prolonged congressional squinting could be mistaken for foreign policy.
Congress Discovers Ukraine Vote Button Hidden Under Stack Of Caution Memos
A procedural memo warned that continued action could normalize the dangerous precedent of Congress conducting business.
Senate Approves Trump’s Iran Deadline After Deadline Files For Extension
Lawmakers described the lapse as a scheduling detail, then asked the Supreme Court if time still counts during recess.
Alabama Schedules Special Election Before Congressional Map Learns Its Districts
Campaigns are preparing yard signs with dotted lines, just in case the court asks for edits.
Mills Campaign Suspended After Budget Found Living In Glove Compartment
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Congress Opens Inquiry Into FIFA Congress For Impersonating Congress During World Cup
Lawmakers said the soccer body’s use of “Congress” created unacceptable brand confusion at a time when America’s own Congress was already struggling to locate itself.
Congressional Republicans Give Trump Iran War Performance Review, Demand Snack Timeline
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Trump Declares Iran Matter “Administratively Over,” Congress Receives Decorative Deadline
The White House said lawmakers were fully consulted via “vibes, headlines, and one extremely confident folder.”