Trump Threatens Kennedy Center With Congress Until It Learns Branding
The proposed handoff would let the Senate rename the opera house by unanimous consent, or several televised lunches.
Trump Endorsement Forces Iowa GOP To Install Governor-Sized Loyalty Stamp
The White House reportedly labeled the endorsement “agricultural infrastructure” after the Senate office laminator jammed.
White House Drafts Courtside Succession Plan For Possible Trump Knicks Visit
Madison Square Garden has reportedly been asked to distinguish between national security and a celebrity row seat with cupholders.
White House Issues Cage-Side Seating Chart For Birthday Governance
The protocol office reportedly classified the octagon as a temporary briefing room with more defensible corners.
White House Moves Camp David Meeting After Iran Peace Forms Request Fluorescents
The mountains reportedly failed a readiness inspection after producing one lectern and zero laminated escape arrows.
White House Reclassifies Camp David as Too Outdoorsy for Iran Talks
Cabinet secretaries were reportedly issued fresh lanyards after the Situation Room rejected their pine-scented briefing folders.
Trump’s Camp David Iran Meeting Derailed By Cabinet Seating Chart
The Iran briefing reportedly stalled after three departments claimed the same window seat near the serious flags.
Trump Orders Iran Deal Printed Upside Down To Reverse Obama
The White House insists diplomacy is strongest when every clause faces the other direction.
White House Installs Deli Counter For Kansas Endorsement Overflow
Candidates were advised that ticket numbers do not guarantee condiments, cabinet posts, or eye contact.
White House Adds Gunfire Proximity Box To Daily Briefing Calendar
The new form asks whether incoming rounds are ceremonial, legislative, or merely Times-adjacent.