Madison Square Garden has reportedly been asked to distinguish between national security and a celebrity row seat with cupholders.
The White House circulated Form KN-47, requiring Madison Square Garden to reserve one courtside seat, two ceremonial Diet Cokes, and a laminated “possible president” placard.
Security planners classified the Knicks final as a Level Orange Dribble Event, placing ushers under temporary Senate-confirmation etiquette and asking the Supreme Court to define “baseline.”
“No one may enter the arena until the popcorn has been briefed,” one arena liaison wrote.
A separate memo warned that if Trump attends, the Jumbotron must display three options: defense, tariffs, or Iran.
Context
Time Out reported on speculation about whether President Donald Trump might attend the Knicks NBA final in New York City.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Time Out Worldwide
Photo: Carlos Herrero
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