Staffers reportedly added him to the same wall chart used for court dates, Senate math, and unexplained New York Times printouts.
The White House has reportedly reclassified Sen. Bill Cassidy from “Louisiana Republican” to “unsecured Senate object” after his reelection loss freed him to become inconvenient on weekdays.
Aides built a Cassidy Tracker beside the court calendar, with columns for “Trump irritation,” “Supreme Court name-drops,” and “times he used the word independent without coughing.”
“He has entered the clipboard phase,” one campaign operations veteran said.
The new protocol requires staff to escort legislative priorities past Cassidy in a sealed manila folder, then distract him with a hearing chart and a room-temperature Diet Coke.
Context
The Shreveport-Bossier City Advocate reported that after losing his reelection bid, Sen. Bill Cassidy is increasingly complicating President Trump’s agenda.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: The Shreveport-Bossier City Advocate
Photo: Sergei Starostin
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