China Promises Iran Support Will Remain Strictly Emotional, USTR Says
Washington welcomed the breakthrough by immediately forming three committees to define the word material.
Trump, Xi Agree Tariffs Can Be Lowered If Everyone Acts Surprised
The tentative trade thaw reportedly came with a ceremonial coupon book and one emergency hearing nobody in the Senate understood.
Trump-Xi Summit Produces Tariff Peace Treaty for Nervous Soybeans
The Senate began preparing a bipartisan thank-you card to corn while the Supreme Court was asked to stay out of breakfast.
Washington Places Tariffs in Cooling-Off Room After Trump-Xi Talk
A joint memo instructed import duties to stop making eye contact until markets regained their indoor voices.
Trump Announces Xi Joined Emergency Strait Unclogging Committee
The White House treats global shipping lanes as a sticky cabinet drawer requiring bipartisan lubricant.
Trump Announces Xi Endorsed Strait Plan; Beijing Requests Undo Button
The diplomatic breakthrough reportedly lasted until China clarified it wanted the crisis solved sometime before it existed.
Trump Asks China To Unclog Hormuz With Trade Coupon
The Senate prepared hearings after aides labeled the strait “pending infrastructure” and filed it under roads, ports, and campaign promises.
Trump And Xi Assign Strait Of Hormuz A Shared Custody Schedule
The Senate reportedly asked whether oil tankers count as witnesses or amendments.
Trump and China Agree Iran War Unnecessary, Disagree on Who Said It
Diplomats called it a breakthrough in which everyone shook hands while backing toward separate exits.
China Offers Hormuz Help, Demands Trump Stop Treating Taiwan Like Layaway
Beijing’s proposal reportedly came with a map, a warning, and a polite request that Washington stop turning every ocean into a campaign prop.