White House Packs Emotional Support Senate For Trump’s China Trip
Aides hope congressional dysfunction will make Beijing’s negotiating table feel more familiar.
Trump Brings Coupon Binder To Xi Meeting As Inflation Strategy
The Beijing agenda also includes war, tariffs, and a laminated card reading “ask China if eggs are negotiable.”
White House Packs Inflation, FDA Vacancy For Trump’s China Trip
The administration reportedly classified the economy as “carry-on turbulence” and asked the Senate not to shake the overhead bins.
Alabama Schedules Special Election Before Congressional Map Learns Its Districts
Campaigns are preparing yard signs with dotted lines, just in case the court asks for edits.
White House Packs China Trip Binder With Iran War Tab Enlarged
The delegation reportedly added a “Please Discuss Carefully” sticker after staff determined “world war escalation” was too long for the label maker.
White House Drafts Emergency Order Asking Cattle To Show Patriotism
The plan treats hamburger supply as a constitutional question, with brisket now awaiting possible Supreme Court review.
Trump Brings Tariff Punch Cards to China Talks, Confusing Diplomats
The Senate requested receipts, the court requested definitions, and America requested a chair near the exit.
Thune Says Billion-Dollar White House Moat Is Just Basic Adulting
The Senate also asked whether the drawbridge could be bipartisan if both parties got blamed for delays.
Trump Books China Trip as CEO Field Trip During Iran War
The itinerary treats geopolitics as a quarterly earnings call with missiles in the background.
Senators Arrive In China With Laminated Flashcards For Trump-Xi Small Talk
The delegation ranked soybeans, TikTok, Iran, and “please don’t mention court stuff” by diplomatic combustibility.