The proposed protocol requires Trump to say hello only after three lawyers, two cartographers, and one very tired hold-music technician initial the receiver.
The White House circulated a fictional “Telephone Sovereignty Checklist” on Friday, directing staff to place any possible Trump-Taiwan call on a red handset kept inside a locked atlas.
The protocol requires the operator to confirm the word “hello” has no treaty implications, then stamp Form 1-C with either “routine greeting” or “continental weather event.”
“No one touches speakerphone without a map lawyer,” the memo states.
Aides also installed a small gong labeled “Beijing Reaction,” to be struck gently whenever a ringtone exceeds two diplomatic rings.
Context
Reuters reported that China could react strongly to any call between Donald Trump and Taiwan’s president because Beijing considers Taiwan part of China.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Reuters
Photo: Yao L
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