The statement reportedly came with foam padding, donor-facing arrows, and a small bell for activating applause.
The White House treated President Trump’s endorsement of Ken Paxton in the Texas Senate runoff as a controlled substance Friday, routing it through the Office of Large Red Stamps and Competitive Loyalty.
Staff attached a “THIS SIDE TOWARD BASE” label and placed the statement in a padded envelope, beside three polling charts, a Sharpie, and a laminated map labeled Not New York Times.
“The endorsement has cleared normal theatrics,” one messaging aide wrote.
Texas operatives were instructed to acknowledge receipt using Form MAGA-27B, then display the endorsement near microphones, flags, and at least one court-adjacent podium.
Context
WCTV reported that President Trump endorsed Ken Paxton in the Texas Senate runoff.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: WCTV
Photo: @ Prestige by Nature
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