The mountains reportedly failed a readiness inspection after producing one lectern and zero laminated escape arrows.
The White House confirmed the Cabinet meeting was transferred from Camp David after the Office of Ceremonial Logistics determined any Iran peace paperwork would need a copier “within sprinting distance of a nervous lawyer.”
A revised seating chart placed Trump between the Situation Room and a tray of unlabeled briefing mints, while aides prepared three folders: Peace, Not Peace, and Senate Has Thoughts. The court liaison received a badge reading PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THIS SUPREME.
“Camp David is for reflection,” a senior protocol clerk said. “The White House is for stapling.” Staff later reserved the China room by mistake and issued a corrective memo titled Wrong Global Crisis.
Context
Yahoo reported that Trump moved a rare Camp David Cabinet meeting to the White House, prompting speculation about whether the U.S. was nearing a peace deal with Iran.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Yahoo
Photo: Tolga deniz Aran
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