China Thanks Washington For Turning Iran Policy Into Group Project
Beijing filed the week under “unforced assists” while the Senate searched for the minutes from its own briefing.
Senate Asked To Stop Glowering At China During Trump-Xi Meeting
A new peace memo warns that prolonged congressional squinting could be mistaken for foreign policy.
Rubio Says China Joined Coalition Against Closing Strait Of Hormuz
The administration classified the consensus as a rare diplomatic breakthrough in which both governments noticed where the oil is.
Trump And Xi Agree Hormuz Strait May Remain Unblocked, For Now
The White House celebrated the rare diplomatic breakthrough by reminding Congress that waterways are not currently subject to Senate holds.
White House Prepares Trump-Xi Meeting With Emergency Compliment Inventory
The Senate was placed on standby to translate any phrase containing “very strong” into policy.
Trump Packs Iran War Room In Carry-On For China Visit
Beijing prepared three seating charts: missiles, tariffs, and whatever the Senate calls lunch.
Senate Approves Trump’s Iran Deadline After Deadline Files For Extension
Lawmakers described the lapse as a scheduling detail, then asked the Supreme Court if time still counts during recess.
White House Packs Emotional Support Senate For Trump’s China Trip
Aides hope congressional dysfunction will make Beijing’s negotiating table feel more familiar.
Mills Campaign Suspended After Budget Found Living In Glove Compartment
A completely reasonable response to an unreasonable political news cycle.
Trump Activates Kentucky Senate Dropout Protocol, Endorses Barr With Emergency Siren
Officials said the request was voluntary, mandatory, and “decorative,” depending on which microphone was currently closest.