Senate Prepares Paxton Welcome Packet Printed Entirely On Trump Letterhead

The orientation binder reportedly contains a committee map, three loyalty tabs, and a tiny court clerk bell.

Senate aides began drafting a fictional Paxton orientation packet Wednesday using Trump letterhead, a red runoff stamp, and a seating chart that replaces seniority with endorsement expiration dates.

The mock packet routes every committee request through a ceremonial court window, where interns must file Form MAGA-14 in triplicate and ring a brass bell labeled “supreme.”

“We are preserving institutional norms by laminating them,” said one imaginary parliamentarian.

Cornyn’s nameplate, in the satire, was moved to the Senate’s Lost Incumbent Property drawer beside obsolete China hearing placards and one very tired whip count.

Context

The New York Times reported that Ken Paxton, backed by Donald Trump, defeated Senator John Cornyn in Texas’s Republican Senate runoff.

Photo: Trac Vu