Negotiators were told enriched uranium polls poorly in the suburbs unless paired with a school-board mailer.
Trump declined to hurry an Iran agreement after advisers placed the negotiations on the campaign calendar between “rural broadband” and “pretend to like ethanol.”
The Senate demanded a classified annex printed as a yard sign, while a Supreme Court clerk labeled the folder “foreign policy, but make it Tuesday.”
“No one wants swing-state centrifuge content before Labor Day,” said one election lawyer clutching three color-coded injunctions.
The State Department’s new guidance requires every diplomatic breakthrough to pass a focus group, a court chyron, and a donor brunch metal detector.
Context
Mid-day reported that Donald Trump rejected rushing an Iran deal as U.S. midterm election concerns shaped the timing.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Mid-day
Photo: Rosemary Ketchum
[…] Trump Puts Iran Deal On Midterm Yard-Sign Approval Schedule […]