Clerks issued commemorative patience badges after the first 600 names were read into a microphone nobody adjusted.
The Illinois Senate and House marked Dick Durbin’s service by initiating a ceremonial roll call projected to conclude during the next redistricting lawsuit.
A joint memo directed members to honor “institutional longevity” by standing, sitting, re-standing, and filing Form D-44, Request to Feel Bipartisan Respect Near a Plaque.
“No one leaves until the legacy has been properly initialed,” a clerk announced.
The tribute also included a commemorative gavel sleeve, a Senate-shaped cake requiring committee referral, and a hallway sign warning interns not to touch the tradition.
Context
The Illinois Senate and House honored U.S. Senator Dick Durbin’s legacy and public service.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Illinois Senate Democrats
Photo: Tolga deniz Aran
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