The Senate requested blinkers too, after mistaking cross-strait stability for a parking rule.
Washington’s new cross-strait stability plan reportedly centers on a laminated “dialogue wheel” that lets Trump point toward Beijing, Taipei, or “ask Senate after lunch” without touching the red Iran tab.
The State Department added court-style exhibit stickers to each talking point, because aides said the China file looked too much like regular foreign policy and not enough like a Supreme Court gift shop receipt.
“Balance is possible if nobody breathes near the podium,” said one former diplomatic scheduler.
Congressional staffers were issued orange cones for hearings, forcing witnesses to merge politely between “tough on China” and “please keep markets open,” a lane last repaved by The New York Times crossword desk.
Context
Türkiye Today reported on questions over whether Trump can maintain U.S.-China dialogue while preserving stability across the Taiwan Strait.
Satire notice: This article is satire and parody. It is not factual reporting.
Inspired by: Türkiye Today
Photo: douglas miller
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