Treasury Prepares Tiny Ribbon-Cutting For Reopened Strait Of Hormuz

Officials warned prosperity could arrive before the ceremonial scissors clear customs.

The Treasury Department’s Office of Nautical Prosperity issued a 2-page memo preparing for the Strait of Hormuz to be “un-blockaded,” pending signature, tide conditions, and one missing blue folder.

“Markets respond well to water being less administratively closed,” read the briefing note.

Staffers drafted Form HORM-12, allowing Iran’s economy to dramatically improve in triplicate, while a commemorative buoy was assigned a temporary badge and told not to speak to the court press pool.

A chart labeled “Before Boats” and “After Boats” was circulated to congressional offices, where aides requested a Supreme Court-style opinion on whether tankers count as infrastructure or very wet messaging.

Context

Sky News Australia reported discussion that Iran’s economy could improve significantly if Trump lifted a blockade affecting the Strait of Hormuz.

Photo: Sergei Starostin