Trump Delays Refrigerant Rules After Air Conditioner Files Formal Complaint
White House aides framed the rollback as kitchen-table relief, then asked if the table had a compressor.
White House Reclassifies IRS Audits As Decorative Paperwork For Presidents
The new policy places Form 1040 under the jurisdiction of whichever aide can find the biggest shredder.
Senate GOP Drops Ballroom Security After Velvet Rope Scores Higher
A draft memo found the rope cheaper than cameras and less likely to testify in court.
Judge Orders White House To Stop Filing History Under Miscellaneous
Staff reportedly responded by labeling every drawer “presidential-ish” and asking the Senate for a receipt stamp.
Senate Finds White House Ballroom Security Optional If Velvet Rope Works
A draft memo suggests the chandelier can be protected by asking democracy to dance elsewhere.
Democrats Introduce Cuba Leash Bill After White House Buys Bigger Map
The proposed restraint mechanism includes a Senate timer, a court-adjacent clipboard, and sternly worded snacks.
Senate Advances Iran War Brake, Finds Pedal Under Committee Binder
The measure would require the White House to pause long enough for Congress to remember where it stored war powers.
NATO Issues Trump Reliability Index Ahead of Rubio Anxiety Tour
European diplomats will now be briefed using a color-coded chart ranging from “Article 5” to “please check Truth Social.”
White House Classifies Hudson Valley Fundraiser As Temporary Executive Branch
Staff prepared a lectern continuity plan in case applause levels triggered constitutional uncertainty.
Senate Advances Form Requiring Trump To Requisition Iran Hostilities
The chamber’s new policy would classify unauthorized escalation as a paperwork spill requiring immediate committee towels.